Seek and You Shall Find...

I have always been someone who cares what people think about me.  I don't know where it came from or why I still have that feeling but I do.  I've heard it many times that only God can judge us but it does not stop people from doing so (even I am guilty).

For the past few years I have become a huge fan of Demetria Lucas, Relationship Editor, writer & blogger of Essence magazine and now, in the recent success of her first book, she has literally become the 'go to girl for advice' on relationships and other things.  The digital world in which we live has made it very easy for us to connect with celebrities like her.  Daily, I watch her Twitter timeline (as a devoted self-proclaimed mentee) as she interacts with fellow Belles via regular tweets or through her Formspring account.  More times than I'd like to admit, I find myself clicking the link allowing me to read the full question and even more so to see Lucas' response.

Most of these questions she takes time out to answer are pretty self explanatory and I find myself laughing out loud at these anonymous souls because they actually make you say, "Really, dude? Did you really just ask that dumb ass question?"  Being the person that she is, Lucas shoots back real advice to these people and when they sound stupid, she tells them just that.  I love her for her blunt sarcasm because it helps my workday go by so much faster.

I can't help but wonder now are these women that low on self-esteem or were they just reaching for something to ask her just to make a connection?  Of course, as a fan, you would love to have your favorite celeb or someone you admire to tweet you back.  It's an exhilarating feeling as I have been tweeted four times and counting by my faves but at the same time, I refuse to put myself 'out there' for the sake of a retweet.

People, especially women, should find that validation they seek from others within themselves.  Yes, it is nice to have something you feel to be true affirmed by anyone, especially someone you look up to but, at times, I feel some go overboard.  I wish it were possible for everyone to be completely happy in their own skin and confident in their own abilities but, unfortunately, that is not the world we live in.  A lot of us thrive off of what others think or say about us.  Positive self-esteem is definitely not an easy task and it is one that takes patience as I am still learning.  I feel that it is something that can be achieved if people take the time to work on themselves instead tearing others down.

What's your stance on validation? Is it something that you seek or have sought in the past?  What changed your views?