...welcome to the musings of the flawless amour...

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

"Amorous" -- Jesse Boykins III

I think I have discovered both the blog and my theme song.

I was recently hipped to Boykins' mixtape, The Beauty Created, by an acquaintance of mine and I haven't stopped playing it since.  This project is one of very few that makes my heart smile with each listen.  I've been a fan of Boykins' voice for some time now.  It's something about the velvety texture that does something to my body.

This work as a whole is nostalgic in the sense that it takes you back to those Neo Soul days back in the late 90s.  Boykins channels, to me, D'Angelo or even Dwele (these are a couple of the other two that make my heart smile).

Check out the video and even the link to the mixtape above.  I guarantee you won't be disappointed in what you hear.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Sept. 21, 2011, 11:08 P.M.

Tonight, I witnessed the execution of a seemingly innocent black man by way of lethal injection.

I have never been one to immerse myself in politics or things of the such but over the past few days, I saw continuous blog posts and articles on Troy Davis and his execution.  At the time of his conviction, I was only one year old and now, 22 years later, this is my first time ever hearing about the case.  Initially, I skimmed over the articles as they popped up in my RSS Reader until I decided to familiarize myself with this man's story.

Long story short: Davis was convicted of the murder of an off duty police officer (McPhail).  Since the time of his conviction, seven of the nine (I believe) jurors have recanted their initial statement and ultimately, there is no proof that Davis was the shooter.  That alone is enough to make me believe he is not a candidate for the death penalty,  ESPECIALLY if evidence is lacking.

I was in bible study during the time the execution was to initially take place and was relieved to learn and hour later that they had postponed the execution, giving the Supreme Court time to make a decision as to whether or not they would let Davis live.  It left me hopeful that this man may get another chance at life.  In the 45 minutes it took me to get home from church, I learned that they had denied his appeal and my heart dropped at the thought of the state of Georgia killing this seemingly innocent man.

I watched as Anderson Cooper stoically delivered the news as it happened, showing us live footage of the steps of the Supreme Court where people were gathered, waiting to hear the news just as I was.  The entire time, I'm on my couch, praying for Davis' soul and wondering if he was right with God.  I'm also praying for his family to remain strong and know that God is the ultimate decision maker.

As I write this, I remember earlier today at work, I kept glancing at the clock thinking, "Man, that brother has only two more hours left to live."  What does it feel like to know the exact minute you're scheduled to die?  Do you panic or sit in silence and reflect on your life up until that point?  I wonder if Davis wished he could have gone back in time and never went to the Burger King that night.

The reporters on CNN mentioned how the death penalty and race played a part tonight saying that more black people receive a death sentence for killing a white person.  I do not know the true facts of this statement but it did touch me.  I am pro black but not so quick to draw the race card, if that makes any sense.  I don't blame the white man for all of the black man's misfortune.

Being a young African American woman, I feel it is natural for me to feel close to a Troy Davis in situations like these.  I wondered briefly during the execution that if Davis was white, would I even be concerned.  At first, I said yes because the story, void of race, is sad.  But then, I dug deeper and admitted that I probably would not be following this case as long as I have.  Yes, I would have been interested in the outcome but it would not have such an emotional bearing on my spirit as it does now and I'm sure I wouldn't be blogging about it.

My Twitter timeline blew up, telling of how the black people haven't arrived to shit yet and how the "judicial system is the modern day Jim Crow".  Took me back to a conversation I had yesterday with my colleague about how racism is still prevalent here 2011.  He's another pro black individual and he always talks about how Emmett Till's death wasn't that long ago and how Dr. King was just assassinated.  His point being the same as my followers: Just because we have a black president does not negate the fact that we are still looked down upon as a race by other ethnicities and sometimes even our own.

Davis' story and execution has sparked an interest in me.  An interest to want to get myself somewhat involved in politics and the workings of this world.  I no longer want to be ignorant to the world outside my window.  I will not overlook the articles that come across my reader any longer.  I will continue to pray for both the MacPhail and Davis families in this very difficult time.  I pray that if Davis truly was innocent that they find the true killer although that won't bring Davis back to his family.  Hearing his final words brought on the tears I was trying to fight back.

I leave you with this: learn about the world in which you live.  In the words of the anonymous source: "Be the change you want to see."

Sunday, September 18, 2011


I have decided that I am going to open a restaurant called either Swangas or Mandingo and I will only hire sexy men who are packing a third leg or something really close to it.  Their uniforms will consist of black boxer briefs (brand of their choice) and baby oil.

This is the message I sent to a few of my close girl friends and my homeboy, JB, today.  Of course, the women were all excited, calculating how much they would be able to invest while JB deemed the idea 'not good'.  He said that no one would want to eat while having to stare penis in the face.  I agree because it is a sight to be left desired but my defense was that they would have on the black boxer briefs (they do a good job at camouflaging).  And it's not like the employees would be standing right at the table while patrons enjoyed their meals.

The conversation with JB took a much different turn than did the one with the girls.  Of course, I was just joking with the whole idea of such a provocative restaurant because, I, in my right mind, know that it would never be allowed but THAT reason alone is my issue.  I pass Hooters on a weekly basis going to and coming from church and I always wondered, if there was a restaurant of it's kind, geared towards the ladies, would it be as successful as Hooters.

JB's initial answer to the message was "lol...ummm that's not legal I don't think."

My response: "But Hooters is..."

He proceeds to tell me that nothing is hanging out at Hooters and that ultimately, there's a difference.  I countered that nothing would be hanging out at my establishment either (other than glorious man breast and all the muscles one girl could imagine glistening with a fresh coat of baby oil...*mind wanders....re-group*).  I even broke down and replaced the boxer briefs (thank God for them) with plain boxers or even pants.  The baby oil was non-negotiable.

JB shoots back that penises are "real private parts". And breasts aren't?  Yes, I agree that breast are widely accepted but why?  He said that they aren't private if you can't see the nipple...cleavage is seen daily.  I knew from jump that I was fighting a losing battle but hearing his viewpoint was what interested me the most.  I already knew most men, if asked, would be against such a thing.

My whole point in what started as a joke was the double standard we all are aware of.  Women are usually the ones in movies, bearing all.  Yes, money is usually the motivation and the overall decision of the actor but my thing is this: if I can go to a movie and have to sit and watch a woman expose T & A, dammit, I should be able to see a man's 'member' (for lack of a better term lol).  Not that I'm pressed to see one because I stated earlier that they aren't the prettiest looking things around but it's all about being fair.  Even if the man did agree to doing a full frontal, I honestly think they would find some way around it.  Like using some type of shadowy effect so the viewer really couldn't see his package, instead, just a silhouette.

Like I said before, I'm not (completely) serious about the restaurant but if I were, I'd be prepared for the myriad of "No's" that would follow.  Believe that I would fight hard, using restaurants like Hooters and Tilted Kilt as a means of comparison.  I would even be willing to compromise the boxer briefs as I had with JB, allowing them to cover up just a tad.  But I would also bring to their attention that something should be done about the waitresses at Hooters.  Regardless of if they are curvaceous or not, we know what the name implies and so do the young children that are allowed inside.  Deep down, I know I'd be fighting a losing battle but that's ok with me.  I just wanted to get my point across.

Would you frequent my spot (or one like it)? Why or why not?  What's your take on the double standard?  How do you feel about restaurants like Hooters and Tilted Kilt?

Monday, September 12, 2011

Committed Relationship vs. Not So Committed Companionship...

*excuse the lateness...was supposed to post this yesterday*

September 11, 2011

I should be concerned with the Americans we lost 10 years ago today in that tragic event that reshaped our nation.  Instead, my mind is focused on dating and marriage.  Wait.  Don't deem me insensitive just yet because I do feel sympathy for those families who lost loved ones but this is just the way my Cancerian mind works.

I wrote on this topic about a month ago, asking does society still believe in marriage.  I'm still trying to decide if I do.  I agree that the union of two souls pledging their love for each other is a beautiful thing but is it still something people desire?

We've apparently entered a new realm of dating where some people, for lack of a better term, lack creativity.   Yes, I understand that people have more pressing obligations and responsibilities where their money can be spent wisely but I feel that if you're one who decides to add dating to your life's routine, you need to get more in touch with your creative side.

Me, personally, am not picky.  I'm all for free fun.  Money doesn't always have to be spent and it's definitely not needed to impress me.  Like when Jamie took Nola (She's Gotta Have It) out to a picnic for her birthday.  Yea, he may have spent a little money on the dancers but his creativeness made the date that much more special.  It is not OK to think chillin' at the house constitutes as a date.  Especially if all we're doing is sitting down, watching TV.  I can do that at home alone.  Plan a meal. Boil a pot of coffee or water for some tea. Something!

I had an interesting conversation with one of my homeboys.  He was explaining to me his views on the whole 'title' thing when it comes to relationships.  Simply put, he doesn't believe in them but he did admit that if he chose to engage in sexual relations with a lady, as well as open up to her emotionally, he does feel a "certain obligation to be there for her, regardless."  Me being the person I am, asked for him to elaborate more because I just didn't understand how he didn't view that as a relationship of some kind.  When two people become romantically involved and feelings become a factor, aren't they supposed to be there for each other, regardless?  That is, of course, if the two are on the same page and a relationship is what they're seeking.

He promptly began to break his theory down for me and surprisingly enough, I made some sense of it (I knew I should've taken notes on the conversation but I was too lazy to get up to find pen & paper lol).  Basically, he said that us women need to learn to let go of the fantasy we have created in our minds, dwelling on images of a perfect relationship and whatnot.  Instead, we need to learn to live in the moment and accept what a "Real Nigga Nigga" like him is offering.  What is he offering you ask?  Unconditional friendship, unconditional support, and sex (if that's what you need).  He is also there to provide you with that shoulder to cry and vent on, a male brain to pick and you can always count on him to keep it real with you.  And all this is available whether or not he had/is having sex with you at the time.  That seems to be a lot for someone you're not officially linked to.

In a nutshell, what my boy is saying is that a title isn't going to stop a man (or a woman) from doing what they are going to do (and I agree) which is why he refuses to lock himself into something that doesn't seem to be foolproof from jump.  He can't guarantee that you (or himself for that matter) will have the urge to step out.  What he can guarantee is that he will always keep it real with you, providing that unconditional companionship that we as women desire anyway.  He even went as far as to saying that if he was in a relationship and he happened to cheat his girl would never know because she'd be so wrapped up in the way he treated and took care of her that it wouldn't matter.

I have to admit that he almost had me sold on his theory.  Like, if I was standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and he would've hit me with one more gem of "knowledge", he would have knocked me over and I would have fallen to my death.  Some of what he was saying made sense to me whereas other parts went in one ear and smoothly out the other.  For example, if you're in a situation with a guy where the two of you aren't quite serious but everyone knows you're an item; the guy treats you right and all that good stuff but you still find more to want.  Let's say something along the lines of an official commitment.  It's kind of the 'don't mess up a good thing' situation.

Now, I'm at an in between stage in my young adult life where I don't know if I want or if I'm even ready to be in a committed relationship (or a not so committed 'situation') just yet.  The thought is enticing but I'd like to think I know a little bit of what a serious relationship entails and I'm big enough to admit that I'm not fully ready to concede.  That's a serious move that requires a lot.  I'm still young and I'm just coming into my own, figuring things out for myself.  Eventually, I'm sure a meaningful relationship will come but until then, I'll revel in my freedom.

What're your thoughts? Do you agree with my homeboy or is his logic a bunch of bull?  Are titles overrated?  Feel free to discuss.  I'd love to read your responses.