Had a conversation a few nights ago where I was told, in short, that I sabotage situations. The person I was on the phone with was speaking in terms of relationships and the fact that I tend to find the negative in a potential boo quicker than the average which pretty much ruins whatever chance said boo had with me.
As this person continued to tell me about myself, I couldn't help but to be quiet and listen, all the while wondering, am I really that bad? Do I really do those things? Is that why I don't have a potential mate lined up? Clearly, my mind was racing. I calmed myself down, finding my voice and as well as a rebuttal.
"I have a very low tolerance for bullshit!"
I told y'all before that my patience is as thin as this guy. Probably thinner. I don't see why I should have to endure someone's stupidity for the sake of having a man to call my boyfriend. Is that not the point of dating/getting to know someone? Finding what you like versus what you don't and/or aren't willing to put up with? I thought so.
Like most, I don't like being bored at all and, unfortunately, the window of time needed to get, hold and keep my attention is minute. I like to think I give signs to let one know that my interest is being lost and I'd rather sit at home staring at this baby grandfather clock (is there such an oxymoronic thing lol?) than hold a text message conversation with you discussing what you ate for lunch.
There is a line that many guys are unaware of until AFTER they have crossed it and that is the point of no return. In my defense, there have been few that I considered doubling back for but my mind (along with the ism from my mother) won't allow me to travel down that road simply because there was something that made me veer off course in the first place.
After discussing my "sabotaging antics", we moved on to the discussion of what "my type" consisted of. I tend to stay away from this question because it implies that I have actually sat down and compiled a list of what I want in a mate. Lists, to me, create superficial significant others that people go on a never ending quest to find. So, instead of spouting some desired characteristics I think I'd want, I opted to give an example of my ideal mate: Dwele. On the surface, he's the guy I would go for. That crazy, sexy 'fro, that neatly groomed beard, and his eclectic but hip style...*swoons*
|I want to call him in the morning and tell him to "sing to me" just like ol girl did at the end of "My Lova" *le sigh*|
Now, of course, I don't know anything about this man's personality. He could be a complete asshole in the terms of a relationship (though I highly doubt it) but, yes. Dwele is one of my top five eclectic boos.
My friend asked what if I met a guy who wasn't all artsy like me but he was a genuine dude; would I give him a chance? Of course I would. I feel that if one presents themselves well, who am I to deny them a chance? Hell, I'd like to think I've given more guys chances to get to know me than I should have (no cockiness). But if this guy was able to keep it interesting for me, then that could be the start of something beautiful. And then, I would get to expose him to the world that I've grown to love.
But if we can't have an
That night, I told myself that I would be slow to writing people off completely. Give them a chance to mess up and potentially redeem themselves if need be. I have been working on my being patient. I don't wanna miss my blessing because I'm being a mean ass, ya know?!
What about you all? What irks you when you're getting to know someone new? Do you let them know that they're working the last good nerve you had left when you woke up this morning or are you the passive-aggressive type? Am I being too harsh?
Talk to me!