Baiting the Hook

I hate shopping. As much as my mom tried to get me to enjoy the average woman's favorite past time, I never came around. She taught me how to apply a full face of make up and made sure I could walk in a decent pair of heels but I was partial to Nikes and sweats. All the girly things that were expected of me, I rebelled against but when the occasion called for a dress and some stacked stilletos, I acquiesced. I'm a simple girl and I like simple things but I am at an age now where I am considered potential dating material. There are things that must change.

Everyday, women are bombarded with society's standard of beauty. An airbrushed actress sporting couture fashion on the cover of my favorite magazine sends a subliminal message, suggesting this is how I should look. Inside, beauty tips await, along with fashion recommendations that will compliment my petite frame perfectly. All of this serves as the pre-cursor to snagging that eligible bachelor looking all delectable a few pages later.

Just a few years ago, I was all, "Why can't I just be comfortable?" and "I'm not trying to impress anyone at this school!" Now, I'm all, "I want a boyfriend!" At 24, I have yet to be in a real relationship. Gray area situations have occupied my time. I'm ready for something more solid now.

photo credit: http://bossip.com/455457/dear-bossip-my-man-has-a-wandering-eye-and-i-dont-like-it/man-staring-at-woman/

It is clear now that I have to give into those standards a little to get what I want. Men are visual creatures and they need to be enticed. That means I have to practice some of these beauty tips that I tend to overlook. I must stop shopping solely for Nike shorts and start experimenting with different nail colors on a bi-weekly basis. My locs, as much as guys love to try and put their fingers in them, need to vary in style.

Recently, I posed a question to my Twitter followers, asking how does one appear more available. The responses were ones I anticipated, encouraging me to get out more and look more inviting. Of course, I rolled my eyes until I came across the one that made me smile.

"Just be you. You're quite a catch."


Clearly, I am all for that idea but I've heard that there comes a time when you have to stop blaming the opposite sex for your lack of companionship and take a deeper look inward. The me that I have been all these years has left me in this current predicament so maybe I should try something new. I admit that I'm most comfortable in my own company. All I need is my iPod and I can tune the rest of the world out. I didn't realize--or maybe I did and just didn't care--how unavailable that makes me look. Who is going to approach me looking all pre-occupied and whatnot?

My laid back demeanor and background in sports has landed me in the friend zone with guys who I wouldn't have minded exploring my options with. During high school and college, I was not (too) worried about getting the attention from guys the other girls were vying for. And I refused to dress like some of them to get it. I'll never forget all the stares I got on prom night. I'm not unbelievably thick but I do look pretty amazing in a dress *wink wink*. No one knew I had what I did because up until that point, I was all hoop shorts and gym shoes. Granted, the extra attention was nice but even more overwhelming. I tend to shy away from the spotlight, part of the reason I was so anti-femininity back then.


Over the next few weeks, I'm going to try this availability thing and see how it goes. May even flirt a little more and see where that gets me. As of late, I've been inching my way into typical girly behavior; actually taking my time to look through the racks of clothes at the store and wearing a full face of subtly applied make up to church. If I want to attract a quality man, I have to present quality. I am aware that I do not need superficial things like make up or fashionable clothes, instead I'll use them to accentuate the features God has already blessed me with. I'm a big girl now and it's high time I start acting like one *wink wink*