Everyday, women are bombarded with society's standard of beauty. An airbrushed actress sporting couture fashion on the cover of my favorite magazine sends a subliminal message, suggesting this is how I should look. Inside, beauty tips await, along with fashion recommendations that will compliment my petite frame perfectly. All of this serves as the pre-cursor to snagging that eligible bachelor looking all delectable a few pages later.
Just a few years ago, I was all, "Why can't I just be comfortable?" and "I'm not trying to impress anyone at this school!" Now, I'm all, "I want a boyfriend!" At 24, I have yet to be in a real relationship. Gray area situations have occupied my time. I'm ready for something more solid now.
|photo credit: http://bossip.com/455457/dear-bossip-my-man-has-a-wandering-eye-and-i-dont-like-it/man-staring-at-woman/|
Recently, I posed a question to my Twitter followers, asking how does one appear more available. The responses were ones I anticipated, encouraging me to get out more and look more inviting. Of course, I rolled my eyes until I came across the one that made me smile.
"Just be you. You're quite a catch."
Clearly, I am all for that idea but I've heard that there comes a time when you have to stop blaming the opposite sex for your lack of companionship and take a deeper look inward. The me that I have been all these years has left me in this current predicament so maybe I should try something new. I admit that I'm most comfortable in my own company. All I need is my iPod and I can tune the rest of the world out. I didn't realize--or maybe I did and just didn't care--how unavailable that makes me look. Who is going to approach me looking all pre-occupied and whatnot?
My laid back demeanor and background in sports has landed me in the friend zone with guys who I wouldn't have minded exploring my options with. During high school and college, I was not (too) worried about getting the attention from guys the other girls were vying for. And I refused to dress like some of them to get it. I'll never forget all the stares I got on prom night. I'm not unbelievably thick but I do look pretty amazing in a dress *wink wink*. No one knew I had what I did because up until that point, I was all hoop shorts and gym shoes. Granted, the extra attention was nice but even more overwhelming. I tend to shy away from the spotlight, part of the reason I was so anti-femininity back then.
Over the next few weeks, I'm going to try this availability thing and see how it goes. May even flirt a little more and see where that gets me. As of late, I've been inching my way into typical girly behavior; actually taking my time to look through the racks of clothes at the store and wearing a full face of subtly applied make up to church. If I want to attract a quality man, I have to present quality. I am aware that I do not need superficial things like make up or fashionable clothes, instead I'll use them to accentuate the features God has already blessed me with. I'm a big girl now and it's high time I start acting like one *wink wink*