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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Don't Rush It...

How many times have you gotten caught up with where you think you should be in life rather than enjoying where you are right now?  I'm guilty too because, let my life timeline tell it, I'm supposed to be in Brooklyn getting my Sidney Shaw on.  Instead, I'm in the South Suburbs of Chicago, blogging on my grandparent's seemingly comfortable green couch that swallows whoever sits on it, while holding down a part time job at a gym.  I'm actually doing pretty good when you think about it.  I don't have to stress about a car note or rent, groceries or gas (when I'm not driving my dad's truck) whereas a lot of my peers do.  I have a place to stay, food to eat, and a supportive family who seems to be very proud of all that I do.  But then, there are times when I feel as if I did something wrong along the way because I don't have a car nor am I living on my own.

I was just over at Essence.com, checking out Janelle Harris' column where she encourages us to ditch the timelines we have mapped out for ourselves and just continue to work at achieving the ultimate goal.  She, like many of us, had it all figured out: She would have a job fresh out of college (ha!), married by 25, own a brownstone in Brooklyn by 27 and have earned her PhD. by 30 (whew!).  For the record, if she was able to accomplish all that in that 6-7 year window after undergrad, I would have followed that woman to the ends of the Earth because, clearly, she harbored the secret to successful living.

Holding true to form, life had a different plan for Janelle and instead of rushing through life as she wanted to, she is being forced to enjoy the space she is in now, continuing to learn the kind of woman she is.

Two years after hitting that milestone age, I’m learning to be mindful that my success isn’t going to be mapped out according to years or ages, but when God can best use me. I might not have been ready to be a good wife at 25 and I might’ve wasted my money on a Ph.D. at 28 because I wasn’t mature enough to put it to work. There’s a point when you fight for your goals and there’s a point where you have to ask yourself if you’re fighting too hard for something because it’s just not the right season. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set goals, even possible dates for when you’d like to have them achieved. You just can’t be so rigid about them that you focus on the accomplishment more than the journey that it takes to get there—though I may need someone to remind me of that every now and then. Be determined, but don’t be defined by your age or your own personal deadlines.
You’ve got time.

Read more: http://www.essence.com/2012/02/24/the-write-or-die-chick-go-for-the-goal-not-the-
That concluding passage made me think of my own personal life goals.  It's no secret that I want go to grad school in New York, ultimately transitioning into life there.  A few months ago, I posted something speaking of my procrastination and how I was letting fear keep me from applying to graduate programs but what if it isn't fear?  What if my procrastination is God's way of telling me I'm not ready for New York at 23?  Janelle's article made it clear to me that there is a fine line between being patient while waiting on God & being a lazy procrastinator.  How do I differentiate the two?

God has been placing helpful people in my life that are opening doors of opportunity for me in my intended field which is why I'm not really pressed about me still living at home.  My mother has told me before that as long as I do what I'm supposed to do, God will do the rest.  "Faith without works is dead" is the scripture she often quotes to me.

Right now, my job is to step out of my shell and get started with this new freelancing gig I just got with The Chicago Crusader, among a few other publications.  I have to continue to build my resume as well as thicken my skin a bit before I can successfully transition into life in the Big Apple.

I'm not giving up on my dream, rather putting it in God's hands as he will continue to prepare me for life there. Like Janelle said, I've got time =)  Meanwhile, I'll continue to pray for patience and direction, trusting that God will put me exactly where I need to be.


  1. It's crazy (not really crazy) that you actually wrote about this. Trust me at almost 26, I had planned to have been married for some years and be on kid number 3. I also saw myself having my own classroom. I just kept thinking, what in the hell am I doing wrong? Like you said I had to trust God. I have been subbing for 3 years now, and while there are no benefits it gives me the flexibility to take days off when I need to be with my daughter. I go to work at 825 and I'm done by 430. Once I'm done, I'm done, I get to go home to my handsome husband and my beautiful daughter. Plenty of things we look at like what the crap? God is like trust me I know what I'm doing, I know you and I know what you need. Right now is not the time. I'm glad that you know that at the young age of 23. Anyways keep on writing and let me know when your articles are published, cause I would like to read them.

    Sending you light and love

  2. You already know you'll be among the few that know when something is published =). Thanks for the read love.