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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Friends With Benefits

I have never been one to give serious thought to the aforementioned but as of late, I've begun to wonder if I'm capable of having such a relationship.  My stance on it is simple: as long as both parties know where the other stands, go for it if that is what you're in to.  If not, stay away.

When asked if I could ever be in that kind of situation, I would always say 'no' off top because I know me and my emotions.  There's a possibility I could get attached, having shared a very intimate part of myself with someone.  But, while at work today, I delved a little deeper.  Could I actually be woman enough to constantly separate my emotions for just a moment?  Would I be able to maintain a working relationship with said friend after things have become intimate between us?  Do I really think it would be a good idea to do so?

I do not know of anyone personally who has a friend with benefits but I read a lot and see it in one form or the other on a daily basis.  At times, it is encouraged, assuming one is proceeding with caution, as this is a very sensitive area.  Other times, shunned.

As is customary of Hollywood, it always seems effortless in the movies to set up this kind of arrangement and have it flow flawlessly.  Fortunately, in the real world, we know that the chances are slim.  There are some rules to this thing.  Communication being the foremost (in my opinion).

But what about the rules that are unwritten?  Like how does a friends with benefits situation actually work?  Are we allowed to cuddle after because I really like that stuff. Can I tell you my innermost thoughts as we lay in a lazy stupor after a session? Is that too much like a real relationship?  Are we allowed to text/call each other for non-benefit purposes?  What about hanging out in public or are our meetings relegated to the privacy of one's home?  These are questions I need answers to.

What is your stance on the friends with benefits?  Have you ever been in a situation like this?  How did it turn out for you?  Would you do it again?  Talk to me!  I need answers


  1. I have def been in this situation. As a woman, one as you said, would have to separate their emotions. I am very emotional, but in this psychotic unbalanced atmosphere, I have learned to hold on toy emotions tighter than the average. It may not be a good thing all the time but there are pros to it. && one provwas being in a friends with benefits situation. It is important to bel clear about wants && leave all motives at the door. The most important besides a communication is to have a real friend in who you chose.

  2. I totally agree with you Chanell, in that this has to be a friend that you trust. I feel like before any two friends enter into this arrangement, it should be very clear about what is happening. Maybe even discuss a future past being FWBs. Either way, both parties should be clear.