...welcome to the musings of the flawless amour...

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Dear Desire (a peek inside of my mind)

You're one of the few I'd travel back in time for...

Me being afraid of the unknown kept my heart in a glass case.  Many times, I wanted to just let go but my mind told me otherwise.  I was unsure of your intentions.  
That's not true.  
I was terrified of our potential.

At the time, I was all, "We know what it is..." but now, I'm discovering the opposite.  Words never said were lost in lustful stares as you lay in my lap, that boyish grin tugging at my heart.  Your eyes were big enough for me to get lost in and your hugs proved to be everything I needed all the time.
I hate that I didn't spend more time there.

image source: Black_couple_cuddling.jpg
With you, I experienced intimacy the way I needed to 
but still, I found a reason to hold back.  Fear is a bitch yo.

You told me that things happen for a reason and I wish I knew what ours was; both the beginning and the end.

On the days you find your way into my head, I find myself stuck knee deep in memories.  I hold back the urge to tell you because now, it is inappropriate.  Instead, I lay there with a smile and dreamy eyes, imagining you laying on top of me, arms wrapped tight around me.  The scent of you tickling my nostrils as we exist in silence, our breathing being the only noise in the room.

Moments like those, I live for...to this day, you're the only one I can share them with.

image source: wwwh.theharlemsocialite.com
We were such a perfect fit for the other and every time I think of you, I miss you more.

You're the one that got away...

Would you have been willing to start a new life here with me, leaving your old one behind to give us the chance we deserved?  How I wish I could find out.  If given the chance, I'd do you all over again

...and again
...and one more time after that
...No holds barred
image source: black‑art.jpg
We often joke that if we were ever in the same place again, we'd have our moment.  After a long conversation between my heart and mind, I decided that won't happen because if I can't have you past that, I won't even torture myself with those sweet memories.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I wonder how it would play out though...

You show tons of promise ;)

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