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Monday, June 11, 2012

When Is It OK for a Woman to Lead?

A few months back I consulted a certified relationship expert & life coach on her opinion regarding this issue.  I had recently met and exchanged numbers with a guy and while the communication was good, he had yet to propose a date for us to spend time face to face.  I filled the expert in on the back story and proceeded to ask was it okay for me to either flat out ask why hadn't he asked me out yet or simply invite him out.

The answer was simple.

"Do NOT ask him out.  Instead, ask him what he is waiting on."  

I get it.  This dating thing is all about playing your role.  As the woman, I'm supposed to sit back and be pursued while the man is supposed to, well, pursue.  The issue lies in me not believing in that theory 100%.  While I do like the idea of chivalry and good ol' romancipation (word to Musiq Soulchild), I'm an advocate of going for what you want.  Times have changed since the submissive Stepford Wife days.  Women have transitioned into new roles, taking matters into their own hands, doing the whole 'independent' thing.  While we have proved to everyone that we can provide for ourselves without the help of a man, the fact still remains that we do want and need them.

Yes, I said we need them.  Despite what your independent selves may think, men and women need each other *cues Jill Scott's "The Fact Is (I Need You)*.  But that's another post for another day.

While I was scrolling through my Instagram timeline this morning, I came across something that made me think and serves as the inspiration for this post.

It makes perfect sense.  As the saying goes, "a closed mouth don't get fed" and we all know that none of us possess the skill of clairvoyance so in order for our feelings to be heard, we have to voice them.

Dating is much too strategic for me and I'm not even doing it for real yet.  There are far too many rules of engagement involved.  I already have enough to worry about regarding myself; now I have to factor in another person and their life too?! *insert exaggerated eye roll here*

Fellas, would you think a woman too forward if she asked you out first?  How long do you wait to ask a lady out?  Ladies, are you opposed to asking a man out for the first time?  Do you believe gender roles and letting a man lead or are you a self starter?

Let's discuss this so I can have some notes to refer to in the future *wink*

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