...welcome to the musings of the flawless amour...

Friday, June 1, 2012

You Give Me Butterflies...or not

As nature would have it, I am probably one of the most emotional creatures you will ever meet.  I try very hard to cover it up with my asshole like tendencies but deep down, I'm a hand-holding, forehead kiss loving, call me in the middle of the day or night to tell me you miss me romantic.  It's borderline sickening at best.

On my commute home from work today, my mind wandered to past "situations" I've had.  I recalled how things began between us, what happened during our time spent and why we are no longer together to this day.  Each situation was something different but ultimately, it boiled down to one of two things: either I became bored with the monotony of it all or there was no real spark between us.  It got me to thinking about the idea of love at first sight, butterflies, and all that other cliche stuff that romantics like me seem to thrive off of.

Is it possible to experience love at first sight?  Thinking back, I cannot recall a time when I've felt that.  Lust, yes, but definitely not love.  I don't think it's possible to love someone at first sight and I roll my eyes whenever I hear someone say, "I've loved you since the moment I saw you..."  If my label as a hopeless romantic has to be snatched because of that, so be it.  The idea of love itself is complicated when you've actually found and spent a considerable amount of time with someone so to feel it standing next to someone in line at Starbucks is unfathomable to me.

It takes a lot of time for me to open up when it comes to romantic relationships and that calls for a ton of patience from whoever I'm involved with.  Those in my past can attest to that.  Some may label me as scared of the possibilities and while a portion of that may be truth, I call it me being careful.  I need to be just about 100% positive that I'm ready to enter into a relationship before I start tossing around labels and whatnot.  I'm entitled to take as much time as I need.

The fact that we are all a bunch of over sexualized beings is no secret.  People are so quick to jump into the physical benefits of a relationship before cultivating a genuinely platonic one and at that point, one cannot turn back to start over.  Most think they can but once you dive in that deep, it's pretty much a wrap and the never-ending cycle begins.

So what happens when you don't feel that initial spark?  Is it doomed from the start or are you supposed to wait until the butterflies shed the proverbial cocoon and begin to flutter?  I have said it once before but I wish there was some kind of book that instructed us on the ins and outs of this love thing because my head hurts every time I'm forced to think about it.  We need a Love for Dummies ASAP!  It has been said that I don't give guys a chance to, for lack of a better term, prove themselves to me and while I'll admit, I have been brief in my decision making a few times but the others were justified.  If I feel my time is being wasted, I'll promptly remove myself from the situation. Now, my exit strategy can use a little work...lol

I see how this can make me seem picky or even complicated but I swear to you that I'm not.  I do not require much and once you break through the first layer (or two *wink*), we should be fine.  Just keep me interested and I promise to do the same for you.

What are your thoughts?  Do you believe in love at first sight?  If you don't feel the connection right away, do you stick around and wait for it or are you on to the next one?  Do you think people should wait for the butterflies to come or make good use of their time?  I'd love to hear from you

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