Between discussing trips to Moscow and battling heavy bouts of depression, we landed on the topic of being comfortable in one's own skin. I listened as the person on the other end of my phone confessed to having to learn how to be alone.
"I always had to be around people. I didn't know what to do with my hands or myself, for that matter," they said. Me being the way I am, could relate to the struggle. Never been one for the spotlight but I do enjoy the company of good people. It took me a while to be okay with being by myself--that was until I realized I could possibly enjoy it a lot more than mixed company.
We both agreed that there was no feeling greater than one's solitude. All I need is my iPod, a book, pen and a pad (or my laptop) and you can leave me to my literary devices for hours. They were the same way.
"When you're alone, you are your true self. It's when you're around others that you begin acting differently." I pondered the claim for a second and slowly nodded my head in partial agreement. I know how I am when I'm around my best friend (a complete and utter fool. She says I hold the #2 spot on her list of Top 5 Funniest People in her life). When I'm in mixed company where there are a people I don't know, I do the shy thing. When I'm at home, alone, it's just me, my iPod and my laptop. I spend hours in silence, thinking, reading or writing and I'm okay with that.
So what does that mean in terms of me showing my true self? I concluded that I am not just that shy, cerebral being but rather a mixture of all three with a few more quirky nuances interspersed throughout. I don't try to make my best friend want to throw her iPhone out the window as a result of my antics; it just happens that way. I admit, some of the stuff that just flies out of my mouth is quite hilarious.
|picture credit: madamenoire.com|
Therefore, I don't see it as acting differently as my phone buddy put it rather than being able to adapt to different instances. There are things about my personality that I would like to see change, one being my sometimes shy demeanor and I know that comes from a lack of self-confidence. I'm working on it. For the most part, I like the person I am when I'm around people. I've always had a mellow disposition and playing it cool fits me.
How do you feel people's actions, or even your own, while around other people as opposed to your own company?