...welcome to the musings of the flawless amour...

Friday, August 31, 2012

Day 30: To Kiss or Not to Kiss...

The entire night was wonderful. He was a perfect gentleman, anticipating your every move. You admired the way he carried himself, exhibiting the good qualities his mother instilled in him from day one. Slipping your hand into his, the two of you walk up to your front door. You thank him for such a great evening and he insists that this won't be the last time. You feel the warm sensation flooding your body as he stares back at you, flashing that Colgate commercial smile.

This is it. You can sense that he wants to lean in for the kiss and you're fighting everything in your power to wait for him to move. Right as he reaches out to pull you closer, you remember the text from your best friend:

"No kissing on the first date!"

Do you go with the flow and enjoy the moment? I mean, the date was nice and in your mind, he earned it. Or do you hold on, opting to make him work a little harder before you give him the luscious (word to Martin)?

I consulted a few of my friends, both men and women, asking how they felt about kissing on the first date, if they do/don't and why or why not. I asked the men the same question and questioned whether or not they expect a kiss from their date at the end of the night.

I received a mixture of responses, some of which shocked me. One of the ladies said that she's been on either end where she both kissed and made her date wait. "I may, depending on the vibe."

My other homegirl was completely against it.
"I wouldn't kiss on the first date because I wouldn't want the guy to expect more on the next date or feel like I'm easy. Also, guys tend to get the wrong idea [when it comes to kissing on the first date]. What if he's crazy??"
My married friend settled for the cheek kiss. (I wanted to tell her she didn't count because she married her childhood sweetheart but...whatever lol). Those are my personal favorite because it's innocent but shows your date that there may be room for something more down the line. It all boiled down to these young women wanting to feel secure in the fact that there would be more dates after this one. If they were sure they'd see the guy again, nine times out of ten, they would go for the kiss.

As for the fellas...

"People over think. If everything is great, show signs of that. Nothing is wrong as long as your confident, you feel safe and the attraction is mutual."

"Hmmmm...A guy should only expect a goodnight kiss after it's already been established that both parties have an invested mutual understanding of what they are classified as, i.e. dating, friends with benefits, or just plain ol' kickin' it. Or maybe you just can't help but to feel what the other person's lips feel/taste like. Curiosity is a motha! There's no harm in it if you ask me."

Where I agree with some of the viewpoints of the ladies, I think I agree with the two responses I received from the guys. It's not like we're talking about a full out make-out session on the front porch. Just a nice, sweet kiss to end the night. If he's really the gentleman he portrayed the entire night, he'll take that kiss for what it is and keep working towards the good stuff. That may or may not have been a pun.

With that though, you may run the risk of falling into a routine with your date. Will he expect a kiss after each date from here on? I ran into a situation like that...that may be a post for another day. Anyway, relationships are tricky. Getting to know someone is even more tricky. I say do what feels right to you. If you're comfy, roll with it. If it's not there yet, give buddy a hug, bid him goodnight and go to sleep with a smile on your face.

Let's discuss. How do you feel about kisses on the first date?

1 comment:

  1. It depends on the type of kiss. Is it a kiss of friendship or a kiss of intimacy? A friendship kiss is always in order at the close of the evening on a first date. It let's the other person know that you enjoyed their company and would like to spend more time together. The kiss of intimacy is only reserved for the sexual encounter or moments leading up to. You decide what message you're trying to send.